Release date: February 10th 2015
Lex was happy before, before her family split apart, before the break-up with her boyfriend, before everyone stared at her like they were waiting for her to break. Now, she’s the girl whose brother killed himself. She keeps trying to move on, to block out that night, but a secret she’s been keeping is holding her back, a secret that could have changed the events of that night.
As someone with three younger siblings, it didn’t take long for this book to break me into little pieces and make me feel like I would never be whole again. That was how much this book affected me. Right from the start there was a weight on my chest and it stayed there the whole way through. Even now, just thinking about the book, it comes back.
There was no doubt this book would be heartbreaking. I knew that from the description. I wasn’t prepared for just how much it would affect me but I’m so glad I read it. As heartbreaking as it was, it was also about Lex’s journey through her grief, her acceptance, her forgiveness, her realizations. Could she forgive her father for walking out of their lives for a new woman? Could she forgive her mother for checking out on her? Could she forgive herself for not seeing the signs? It was beautifully written.
I liked that we got to know her brother Tyler through her, mostly through her diary entries she had to do for therapy. It was easy to see that they had a great relationship. There were so many characters that were present, either connected to Tyler and grieving him in their own ways or to Lex and wanting to help her.
I found the whole book to be written very realistically. It was a slow process for Lex, one that had a step forward then back then forward. Things that mattered so much before suddenly didn’t seem as important. The book really focuses on the ripples of such a tragic event, the way no one in town is left untouched.
Honestly, this is a book that I will not be forgetting any time soon.
Emotions wise, I’d put this one on the same level of shattered-me as Me Since You. The whole book, nothing but feels.
*I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.